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Why Do So Many Try To Place Negative Issue's In Their Lives As Shadow Self Issues?


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#1 monsnoleedra

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Posted 11 January 2018 - 12:33 AM

This is not a long subject but one I always wonder about.

Why do people always seem to place the idea of negativity in their lives as part of Shadow issues? It seem's the prevailing notion is negativity of though and emotion must be a shadow issue.

Yet one's shadow self and shadow issues hardly ever deal with negativity in actual practice. In most instances shadow issue's pertain to opposition's in ones life and falsetruths. Seldom is it negativity. Yet not opposition as an opponent but opposition as in difference or polar opposite.

So why do so many try to place negative issues into shadow issues?

Edited by monsnoleedra, 11 January 2018 - 12:34 AM.

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#2 Shinichi

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Posted 11 January 2018 - 02:28 PM

Because many do not know the difference.



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#3 Monkey Sage

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Posted 20 January 2018 - 05:23 PM

 monsnoleedra, on 11 January 2018 - 12:33 AM, said:

So why do so many try to place negative issues into shadow issues?

It comes from misunderstanding. The misplaced idea that we all somehow get into our heads that everything predictable, familiar, or known are generally "good". Why do we think that? Because what's familiar is easy. We don't have to put in as much effort into addressing something familiar than we do when it comes to something new or different. This is why most people are resistant to new ideas or new ways of doing things - it requires more effort to handle them, and we don't like putting in more effort than we think we have to. The discomfort of putting in more effort is something we try to resist, and when we resist something, we create suffering or frustration or dissatisfaction for ourselves.

We think that everything that is unpleasant doesn't belong in our lives, so we relegate as much of it to the shadow as we can. This is really sad because those unpleasant things offer us tremendous opportunity for growth and development. Of course, there are some unpleasant things that sometimes we really can't face, and for the sake of survival we have to put them away. I'm sure many of us have done that - had to put aside our own desire to break down and have a really ugly cry and lose our goddamn minds, because there was a job to be done and others were depending on us to keep it together. When the situation passed, we just went on with our lives and we don't always feel the need (or the desire) to re-visit that trauma to try to heal it. So it lingers in the shadow, sometimes for longer than it needs to.

In a way, our shadow self is our best friend. Willing to take on all of our garbage for as long as we want, even if it's our entire life. This is a tremendous kindness and generosity. Though the shadow has no will or desire of its own, so it doesn't want or hope for that kindness to be reciprocated, I think it's a good practice of us to reciprocate that kindness anyway. We shouldn't be motivated to do nice things solely to get something in return (such as appreciation, affection, or material goods or services). I think it's a good practice to unburden the shadow whenever you can. Spend some time with it and see what you can take off its plate.

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#4 Brennan

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Posted 21 January 2018 - 10:32 AM



I think youre wrong in saying the shadow doesnt seek reciprocity of kindness in that we are not unique and apart from our shadow. To make it distinct for the sake of convenience is, well, convenient but completely untrue.
I disagree because when Im unkind to myself, it really fucking hurts my feelings. A lot. When Im truly kind to myself, I feel good and cared about. I can betray, surprise, cherish and condescend to myself and feel it as though it were someone else and it's very possible to feel insolated when we arent there for ourselves.
I feel we do have expectations of ourselves, to ourselves. Otherwise we wouldnt be so cruel to ourselves. So in a way it is reciprocity, as it is a requirement to having a positive relationship with ourselves. Without that, we could have Everything and still be miserable.

Edited by Brennan, 21 January 2018 - 10:34 AM.






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