10 replies to this topic

[ChaosTech]

So I'm a Christian now as I shared a year back, and although the Bible and Christ mysteries are very arcane as well as divine, dispite what the Church may have you believe, the Bible being full of magic even as edited as it is. I seem to have kinda retired my magicians hat. When you cross the Abyss in a severe psychosis, where every paradigm and idea in your mind melts, your magic utterly fails, and you are left at deaths door with the legions of hell waiting to devour you, soul, body and mind, and you get on your knees and pray to this transcendent but immanent God we mages attempt to fathom, calling it impersonal nirvana, the Tao, Chaos, the gods, the source, usually not but as I realized truly Jesus (Yod Heh Shin Vau Heh, Yeshua, the spirit made flesh (four elements), or however you believe or don't us the source of all power, let alone wisdom or law. Having nothing left, your ego literally dies, you never quite know who or what you are anymore, and Miracles begin happening like Moses and the plagues, or Elijah and the chairiot of Fire, or any old biblical prophet.

You cease being a magician. Nor are you really a priest, seer or shaman, let alone witch or alchemist. Like a child you simply talk to God. You see him everyday in people, nature, animals, your psychic perceptions, etc.

Magic becomes pointless. Nothing but sorcery and "karma," happens anyway struggling really to make your own way in reality, against this God of gods, who controls and upholds the majority of the cosmos or universe, but allows you freewill as well. But we are free to forever choose, but equally in doing so we are not free of the consequences.

Is it then faith what this state is? Nay, faith is but a power. Is it magic? See above again, that can't be either.

I call it as I'm a thinking rational man, so in the tradition of the Greek philosophers. Theurgy. Divine not really magic, but you could call it that.

Anyway, just thought I'd share my journey thus far. I've been here and around you many years. Update too after much therapy and medication, my doctor honestly agrees and diagnoses me as not schizophrenic. I have a sharp and bright intellect, and dispite my hallucinations, it was simply a psychotic break or psychosis. Like I said Abyss crossing. Much love to you all brothers and sisters and may God seek those who earnestly seek God, as the Bible says he will.

[violetstar]

At first glance I thought this was a rambling.Upon reading it I realised it is in fact an unusually rare reflection the like of which one might expect from a genuine Adept.

Having traversed the Abyss there you received a Revelation:"against this God of gods, who controls and upholds the majority of the cosmos or universe, but allows you freewill as well. But we are free to forever choose, but equally in doing so we are not free of the consequences.".

This indeed is profound and the following is reflective of a transformation achieved through taming of the Ego which all Magicians must aspire to.

"When you cross the Abyss in a severe psychosis, where every paradigm and idea in your mind melts, your magic utterly fails, and you are left at deaths door with the legions of hell waiting to devour you, soul, body and mind, and you get on your knees and pray to this transcendent but immanent God we mages attempt to fathom, calling it impersonal nirvana, the Tao, Chaos, the gods, the source, usually not but as I realized truly Jesus (Yod Heh Shin Vau Heh, Yeshua, the spirit made flesh (four elements), or however you believe or don't us the source of all power, let alone wisdom or law. Having nothing left, your ego literally dies,"

Thanks for sharing this.

[ChaosTech]

You are very welcome. Violetstar. <3

[violetstar]

I see you are on a roll here and have illustrated more on your Christian Kabbalah post.I half expected that!

[violetstar]

I think you will relate to this 16thC bit of mysticism from Isaac Luria:

"When the first night had come upon the world,the Mistress of All Things stood alone once more as She had in the beginning.For a terrible abyss had opened to lie between the world and She,and Her creatures could not look upon Her brightness."

[ChaosTech]

Very nice! Thank you!

[monsnoleedra]

ChaosTech, on 14 October 2017 - 06:52 PM, said:

.. You cease being a magician. Nor are you really a priest, seer or shaman, let alone witch or alchemist. Like a child you simply talk to God. You see him everyday in people, nature, animals, your psychic perceptions, etc.. Anyway, just thought I'd share my journey thus far. I've been here and around you many years..

It has been my pleasure and honor to be given the privilege of listening to part of your life story. To be the Hollow Bone or Talking Stick for one's own life story or another's is a great honor and a heavy burden. To be reminded of the Great Unknowable, Great Mysteries, Wankan Tanka, Gitchie Manitou, Great Spirit, Spirit, etc and the complexity of the simplistic trust and truth of the child's world.

[ChaosTech]

Thank you monsnoleedra.

[Atridr]

Well, if something, you seem to be able to better express yourself than before, although it was quite obvious that you were in psychosis. Now, do you think that the point of crossing the abyss is to come to this realization you have made?

[ChaosTech]

I "think," the crossing the abyss is twofold. God is mystery beyond thought, and we must submit the best we can unto him, but nothing absolute, as only he is absolute.

[Atridr]

ChaosTech, on 19 October 2017 - 02:13 AM, said:

I "think," the crossing the abyss is twofold. God is mystery beyond thought, and we must submit the best we can unto him, but nothing absolute, as only he is absolute.

Truth, or "god" as you say, is indeed beyond thought.